If you find yourself constantly reliving the nostalgia of new love then being confronted by the reality that your relationship came to an end, it's not too late to get it back. No relationship stays in the "new-love" phase indefinitely. Relationships grow and evolve - and sometimes that means that the romance takes a backseat to the pressures of everyday life. All you want is to get your relationship back - and there are ways of making that dream a reality if you buckle down and decide to get to work the right way. You can't afford to just throw a deck of possibility cards into the air hoping that one will stick. You need to act decisively, not impulsively - and that means using your shared past to a mutual advantage and striving towards a more positive future.
The Secret to Missing Someone
It's obvious, really. Think about the people you surround yourself with. Your family, your friends, and your old college roommate - it's all about the people that really matter; the people you can depend on when you need them. Out of all the people in your life, who do you miss the most? Do you miss your coworker in the next cubicle that you spend 9 hours avoiding every day? Of course you don't. You miss the people that aren't a part of your daily reality - the people that you don't get to see as often as you'd like. The truth of the matter is that you can't miss someone unless there's some distance between you - and that is exemplified when it comes to an ex.
There are no magic words that can reverse a breakup in its tracks and get your ex back in your life. This is no easy fix, and there's no catch-all solution to mending broken ties and broken bonds. The key to making an ex miss you is to give them some distance so they have a chance to realize it. If you're constantly texting, calling or emailing, you're never giving them the opportunity.
Missing the Version of You they Fell For
It's not enough for your ex to simply miss you. Ideally, you want them to miss the person that they initially fell in love with. People change over time, it's simply a natural occurrence. Unfortunately, not all changes are positive. After the beginning phases of a relationship start to fade into every-day life, people become comfortable with their partner. They stop trying so hard to hide their less-positive qualities and the real them starts to come out.
While you should never change simply to please anyone else - even an ex - addressing your core issues can come in handy here. Some self-reflection can definitively work in your favor and win you some major points with your ex. If you're not positive that they're paying attention, take a deep breath. They are.
Use Positive Memory to Your Advantage
If the good old days seem like a pleasant but distant memory, you can bring them back to life. Your focus now should not just be on bringing things back to their past state - you want to make them better than ever, and that fairytale romance is within your grasp. You want to remind your ex of the way things used to be - but let them know that this doesn't necessarily mean going backwards to the past. There's a chance for a real, positive future between the two of you, and it's something that you value more than just a quick fix.
Life right now is a balancing act. You can't be too pushy but you can't be too laid-back either. You have to know what to say - and how to say it. You have to use every tool you possess to your advantage, but it's not as difficult as it sounds on paper. It's simply a matter of looking past what you hope to accomplish and understanding the position that your ex is in as well.
Time is a valuable asset and you don't have an endless supply. Waiting for the leaves to change is not going to turn things around in your favor - if you want to get your ex back, you need to act. Make sure that you're not simply acting on gut-feeling - know that you have a real basis for your choices, and you're using your brain to your advantage. When you do reconnect with your ex, make sure that it's not because of a strange twist of fate. You don't want to leave your future up to chance.
What To Do Next
Being dumped is never something that is easy to get over, the pain that comes with it is always real. Those who say "move on" or "get over it" have either never been on the receiving end of a break up or they are suppressing how it affected them. Knowledge is key, the more knowledge you can acquire about how to reverse the situation you find yourself in the better your position will be.
Two very important areas where you should gain knowledge are: break up mistakes and knowing how to manage contact with your ex. Arming yourself with knowledge is half the battle. Once you know what you are doing it will be a lot easier to achieve your ultimate goal - getting your ex back into your life and restarting your relationship.
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-to-get-your-ex-to-miss-you-this-way
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